1. Hang an ornament from it, because I’m too big of a pussy to get a piercing.
2. Call it a third nipple and start a fetish site.
3. Polish my glasses.
4. Tell emo chicks it’s from when I tried to kill myself, get crazy laid.
5. Draw a face on it, become a YouTube celebrity.
6. Avoid kisses at the Oscars when I accept awards for my YouTube show.
7. Squirt pus into my enemy’s eyes when they bow.
8. Prove to my father that I hit puberty.
9. Gain street cred by telling people it’s a gunshot wound.
10. Drink more Slurpees and see how big I can grow it.