Hey, you’re a stupid asshole. And guess what? The most important step to being a better person is getting over yourself.
You’re nothing special, and in all likelihood you fall well below the national average in your country in every meaningful category, except for the sheer volume of dumb shit opinions you spew all over a disinterested audience of social media drones. You put the people around you through a lot, and they pretend to be okay with it because they’re nice people. The least you can do is pretend to like them in return.
Wise up, dickhead: When some other asshole tries to fix your hair because they’re too fucking old and out of touch to understand the statement you’re making by never brushing it, they’re not trying to insult your shitty attitude and “style”, they just think they know better and that it isn’t possible for a person to be as unapologetically ugly as you are unless it was some sort of a mistake. Grin and bear it like the nice little loser that they want you to be.
Really, being a nice person is all about being fake and pretending to care a lot about everything. Unless it has to do with yourself, in which case you’re not supposed to care at all.
Go post a bunch of phony compliments all over your friends and families’ Facebook albums full of dog and cat pictures, and they’ll all reply with spurious automated drivel of their own to indicate that they now like you more than they used to. Congratulations.
Don’t worry if they have some smartass “funny” comment prepared for you, after years of being abused by your loathsome self. It’s only a test to see if you really have joined the dejected, beaten masses in their pit of despair. In all likelihood their dig was flanked with a pair of lols, so all you have to say in response is lol, but if this isn’t the case you can just post um… lol, to which they will reply lol, or maybe hahaha lol, and you’re good. Really!
In summary: Get over yourself, and learn to be a typical, vapid douchebag, if you want to be a nice guy like me you fuuuucking moron.