I’ve fallen upon hardwood times

The past few days of my pathetic existence have possibly been the most boring period in the life of anyone under the age of… pretty old. Like thirty or something. Fucking old.

Wake up, buy drugs, run away from the police, use interweb services, eat noodles, fall asleep on the hardwood floor, and repeat.

I sleep on the floor because my bed stinks. I think someone has been peeing on my bed, and it might be me, but it doesn’t matter. The point is that I’ve been searching for something to shake up my life.

I set out to change my life for the better early this morning, which was about 6:00pm for me in this case. I took notes for you guys, and I’ve been told that I’m pretty bad at describing stuff, but I’ve also been told I’m very, very bad at taking notes. Most of my pad of paper is filled with drawings of nearly identical dicks. We’ll see how this goes.

I decided to go for a walk in an area I had never walked in before. Remember, I’m in a serious slump here, and even seeing some new storefronts can, in theory, stimulate the mind to a degree. Also remember that before hitting my slump I was already leading a pathetic existence. If you’re new here, trust me.

Other than snagging some drugs and admiring the pretty pictures posted on the walls outside of a strip club, there was nothing of particular interest. I decided that experiencing new things was for losers anyway and that it was time to go home. It was also starting to get dark out, and when it gets dark out the police triple their numbers on my block.

So what I wound up doing was I watched some television.

I bet you can tell how well my journey to self-discovery was going, being the clever little thing you are. There was this naked chick on channel 43 explaining the importance of casting away ones inhibitions and feeling the power of freedom. I think that’s what she said. She kept rambling on for like fifteen minutes. The initial excitement of seeing a naked person on a family-oriented channel faded quickly, and I began studying the way her breasts swayed along with her hand gestures. This was sort of fun in its own way, but she eventually had to go and a naked man started giving his side of the story, so I threw my cup on the floor and shouted obscenities at him, before remembering that he wasn’t actually sitting on a tiny chair inside of my wall.

Having embarrassed myself in front of my cat, I backed away and found myself sitting down at the computer.

I checked my email. 71 new messages! Amazing! But only 13 were from actual people, and I think I preferred the spam anyway. There were a bunch with the same virus, so somebody doesn’t like me very much and at least that’s interesting. Well, a few people don’t like me. Three people don’t like me. None of them were behind this mess, though. I guess at least four people don’t like me.

So I watched some porn, ate some noodles, and fell asleep on the hardwood floor.

How was your day today?

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