Lesbian Cinema Review 1

The basic summary of the video is as follows: Mmmmmm, feety.

Something totally rad is going on underneath all the mosaic, but we AREN’T ALLOWED TO SHOW YOU UNDER PENALTY OF EXECUTION BY THE STATE OF TEXAS!

The film is 23 minutes and 34 seconds long. A good half of those minutes are spent on assorted feet, and deciding what to do with feet. Of course, they are fully nude and spend much time on other body parts(Next in line after feet: anus), but when you look back at this masterpiece, you will think of the feet. My favorite quote of the film is, “mmm fuck my feet,” simple, yet absolutely genius. Who could possibly come up with a line like that? None other than “Some Dude,” the official copyright holder of the video. He’s a god damn genius I says!

You can expect the standard porn-film-isms in this one. They do take their shoes off, as they have to use their feet so often, but the jewelry stays on, and the fingernails are far too long to be painless in the acts they partake in. I quickly noticed one very important fact; these nipples are genuinely stiff. In most porn, video or otherwise, the nipples fail to appear truly content with what their host is doing. These girls are enjoying themselves, and that’s just so damn important. You won’t understand until you’re older, like 13, but you can never be happy if your partner isn’t happy.

Another key is the audio. They start off moaning in unison, and it sounds admittedly quite cheesy.. but later when they move on to individual toe-orgasms, it sounds much more realistic. Half way through they get into some dirty-talkin’, I won’t spoil it for you now, but it’s well scripted dirty-talkin’. The sounds are superb. At one point (2:08 into video) you can hear the camera man let out a breathy “heh hehh ehhh.” It’s very subtle, but it’s there.

Overall, this is the best porno ever. I mean, I only had 25 megs of it, and my version was only 11 minutes long, but it was damn good. Like grandpa getting hit in the groin good(only in different context, grandpa is funny, not sexy). I can only imagine what the second half is like. I picture hands, and maybe “fuck my nostril” near the end.

The filename of the video, in case you wish to scour around for it yourself, is “Felicia_Jill_Kelly_Shayla_La_Veaux.asf.” ASF files will play in windows media player, don’t fret my dear. It’s also a very small file size for the quality and length, only around 50MB for 23 minutes of streaming, television quality video, with the best sound my little soundblaster has ever emitted.

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