Hey Internet, it’s me again. I know I haven’t been around much lately but I just wanted to stop by and see how things were going for y—

Shit, is it that bad? Hey, I understand the frustration, but I hope you won’t do anything too crazy about it. You might not be able to take it back.

Our political team lost the big game, which sucks, but we can’t take it out on the other team’s fans. You might think they’re a bunch of inbred, degenerate fucks, but I can tell you that this is unlikely to be true. The other team is, for the most part, made up of people kind of like you. No, really! They put their pants on one pelt of flesh at a time.

Ha ha ha! I jest. For the most part (I’m keeping an eye on West Virginia).

I get why you’re unhappy, but if your reaction right now is to tell other people that they are sexist, racist, oxford comma, or whatever, you may be oversimplifying some pretty important stuff.

You may also, in my opinion, be a part of the reason our team lost the big game.

My advice for next season is to spend less time judging and labelling people who don’t agree with you, and a little more time talking to each other about stuff.

Also, maybe our team captain shouldn’t have been a mechanical fart, but that’s hindsight for you.