I have recently decided to become a master of online poker, so I thought I might begin by teaching the rest of the Internet everything I have learned so far.

I am not without credentials. I have over $3,000 in play chips on my Poker Stars account, for example.

Granted, I had to reload my play money to the minimum of $1,000 a few times before I randomly won over $3,000 by going all-in with seven-deuce, but if nothing else I am probably better at poker than I was when I did that.

Anyway, the basic trick to poker is to have a lot more money than everybody else, so that when your hand sucks you can go all-in with seven-deuce and frighten everyone into folding, leaving you with over $3,000 in play chips.

If your hand is not quite as strong as seven-deuce, try simply telling the table what cards you have. They will appreciate your honesty and call you a donkey, which seems to be a poker term for a very strong player.