Ten years ago this day I declared war on Canada, and though my casus belli was, in retrospect, somewhat lacking, I still fundamentally agree with the idea that I should rule a country.

Besides, we must all eventually stand and face the consequences of the decisions we made when we were seventeen.

The plan I laid out in that fateful post was that I would kill (or just knock over) the chief justice of the supreme court, take her gavel, and write into law that I am the sole owner of Canada.

I would love to report that some progress had been made in ten years, but the best thing I can come up with is that I’ve not yet fallen to attrition. The chief justice is actually the same woman, but now she’s old and has the added advantage of old-lady strength. Me, I have glasses that slip off my nose all the time.

To win this, we’re all going to need to work together.

There’s no better time to act. Canada’s army is busy in Afghanistan, and both of its airplanes just left for Libya. This leaves only the mounties and the “Canadian Shield” (which I just found out is only a forest) between us and that gavel.

We’re going to have to tackle the obstacles in our path one at a time, and deal with problems as they arise. Reply to this thread with your ideas for how best to proceed, and I’ll put them to work and report back for more assistance.

For some reason, we begin in an abandoned railcar just outside of Regina, Saskatchewan, with $15 and a case of beer. We must make our way to the supreme court building in Ottawa and bang the gavel three times to succeed.

You know what to do.