For all who have asked about my backend (heh), here she is:

Response.ContentType="sex/asl?"
#!usr/bin/vagina
$THING = fopen("intercourse.txt","w");
$HAVESEX = "document.write("$THING")"
$BLING="bling.txt";
open BLING, ">$HAVESEX" or die "$BLING BLUNG :$!";
int main() {
cout << "unf" << endl;
return 0;
GoToAndPlay (3);

It’s not in any particular language, so just name the file every extension at the same time.