Suicide Girls is, to my knowledge, a new porn site gently nestled into the e/n community, as a lot of porn sites are these days. I don’t know quite how to describe it. It’s pretty good. Here’s how it describes itself:

“The World Famous Suicide Girls is an adult site containing explicit photography of naked goth punk and alternative girls.”

Simple. Works for me. I think there’s a little more to it than that, but can’t really tell you because I don’t remember. You see, while the site is fantastic fun for all, the webmaster is a big shit who canceled my account for taking too long writing a review, which leaves me unable to actually go to the site and take notes in order to do so.

I suppose expecting mutual trust or respect was naive of me. While the site is definitely a part of the e/n world, it is clearly a business before a hobby and he probably took our agreement a tad more seriously than I did. Still, I’ve never had a porn site cancel any of my free memberships until this, and it stings.

Me: Give me passwords.
Spooky: what? free passwords? come on
Me: Of course free, I never pay for like… anything.
Spooky: dont you want to support suicidegirls?
Me: Not with my own money, I don’t.
Spooky: heres my deal… I will give you a code to link to me and if you send me 500 uniques i’ll give you a free account to sg. what do you say?

Of course I accepted this deal. I immediately fired up my FTP client and stuck his link in the sidebar. Then I clicked it, and said “Look I already sent you a hit, gimme a password!” He gave me one on the condition that I write a review, but revoked it the next morning before I had the chance.

Me: You deleted the account. You’re sucky.
Spooky: the condition of me giving you the account was you send me 500 uniques or write something about me on your site. so when you write something about the site or you send 500 people I will activate the account again.

These are actual conversations by the way. I’m a consummate professional.

I had sent over 300 of you idiots to his site from the link in the sidebar by the time he canceled the account. One can safely assume his 500 required idiots would have been received by now, but I’m gonna let that go. I guess after I publish this post, which I’m calling a review, I’ll get back the access I needed in order to write it.

So, the review.

When I skimmed the gallery page while my account was active there were a lot of girls there. I can’t say for sure that they’re still around, as something horrible may have happened overnight. I’m gonna estimate that there are were about forty girls, each with one or two galleries. It’s a new site, so that’s quite a lot.

One feature I’d have liked to check out would have been the girls’ journals. Each model on the site has her own journal, which could be pretty neat. Imagine your favorite blog being run by an army of naked chicks and you’ve got the basic idea. Or maybe you don’t, as I again have no idea what I’m talking about.

I guess the main attraction is just the fact that the girls aren’t your standard porn stars. They have symbols painted on ’em and metal hanging from their naughty bits. If you like that sort of thing you’ll probably pop a boner really quick.

But it would be a lot better if it wasn’t run by a huge asshole.