June 23, 2023

Photos: Hotel Party

Two of my best friends and a bunch of whisky.

June 16, 2023

Photos: I Bought a Camera

I bought a Nikon D700 for an excuse to skulk around downtown stinking of whiskey.

April 30, 2023

Journal: At the End of Experience

I remember looking out the window of my dad’s apartment on the tenth floor, where I was going to stay for a few months while I looked for a job and an apartment in the city. This was back in 2005 and I would have been 21.


December 31, 2022

Playlist: 2022 Top 10

My favorite songs from 2022.

November 12, 2022

Artwork: New Vectors

Lady pictures and a self poor-trait.


December 31, 2021

Playlist: 2021 Top 10

My favorite songs in 2021.

November 6, 2021

Journal: In Autumn

I’m pretty sure autumn is a time of reflection for everyone, not just me.


December 31, 2020

Playlist: 2020 Top 10

My favorite songs from 2020.

December 12, 2020

Journal: I’m only going to say this once.

I’m writing this entry on paper, with my dad’s pen. That might not sound like a terribly interesting fact to open with, but you don’t know how I got his pen yet.

July 10, 2020

Artwork: Pandemic Paintings

I got into a bit of finger-painting to pass the time while we all wait for death.

April 11, 2020

Journal: Surviving the Apocalypse

It occurred to me that the audience for posts about COVID-19 might be people from the future. Maybe they want to know what it was like to be human, way back when everybody was locked inside, alone, to stop themselves from killing each other.


December 31, 2019

Playlist: 2019 Top 10

Favorite songs for 2019.

December 6, 2019

Journal: I Had a Heart Attack, or Something.

There were moments where the doctors seemed to imply it might have been something else (particularly, cocaine), but then they’d run another blood test and go oh, shit.


August 20, 2018

Artwork: Starseed

She spoke about the stars as if she’d visited them, but then claimed not to be all that interested in astronomy.

August 16, 2018

Journal: How To Drink Water

Maybe today is your great big day off. But what will you do with it? You can’t just watch the telly all day, because even Alex Trebek gets a little stale after a while. Ever since he lost the moustache things haven’t been the same. When was that, 2003?


September 23, 2017

Journal: On Unemployment and Public Transit

I never really liked going to work. It seems fine enough at first, but about a month or two into any job I’ve had I’ve come to the conclusion that a month or two is pretty much enough of that.

July 13, 2017

Journal: Bird By the Roadside

I came across a dead bird on the side of the road and I thought, hey! There you are, there’s my guy! It was just what I needed.

June 22, 2017

Artwork: New Portraits

Some new faces this past year. Don’t forget your toothbrush.

April 17, 2017

Photos: Yawning

I have no particular need to explain this to you, but I’ve been collecting pictures of myself yawning for about 10 years now.


July 15, 2016

Journal: July 15th, 2016

Videos are like pictures, but longer. This is what one day of my life felt like.

July 14, 2016

Artwork: Art Dump

Random shit I’ve done recently. Let’s not be precious about it.

February 19, 2016

Artwork: Abstractions

They beam things into your head.

January 3, 2016

Journal: Softly Open Our Mouths in the Cold

The skylords have decided not to drop any snow this year, but to come right down and gently lay a sheet of ice across the ground. The fog just kind of rolled in and splayed out over the earth until it hardened and stuck there. Lazy and uninspired.


July 19, 2014

Journal: The New Girl and Her Guitar

I asked if I could post these videos of her singing, and she very adamantly said no. However, if I cut just before the vocals begin, I think I might get away with it. Wish me luck.

May 15, 2014

Journal: She Opened up Her Hair With Her Hands

From my perspective, getting drunk and falling into a forest where I’d heard a girl would be makes a whole lot of sense. There is really no reason I wouldn’t do that. But if I was to try and set that stage a thousand times over, I would be a little surprised if a girl showed up once.

May 14, 2014

Journal: Oh, Hello

The introduction of a new character—Emese—who (spoilers) I end up spending the rest of my life with, probably.

February 7, 2014

Journal: Date Review

Dating a writer is a terrible idea, mostly because writers fucking write about everything.

February 3, 2014

Journal: Window Shopping

In which our hero looks at a pretty girl.


May 8, 2013

Journal: Paul is Dead—A Bacon of Hope

Did you know that Paul Quarrington died of lung cancer a few years ago? Of course you didn’t, because you have no fucking idea who Paul Quarrington was. But even if you did know who Paul Quarrington was you certainly wouldn’t have known that he died of lung cancer a few years ago, because if you did you would have told me.


May 19, 2012

Artwork: More Girl Shapes

Who doesn’t like a good girl? Well, not a good girl.


November 3, 2011

Journal: On Apartment Hunting

I am basically too tall to live anywhere.

June 4, 2011

Journal: How to Eat Breakfast Awesome

My new breakfast routine, now that I sometimes wake up in the mornings, is to eat a snack bar and wait for Kim to whisk me away to IHOP. This is actually marginally better for my figure than my previous breakfast ritual of waking up and eating dinner.

May 22, 2011

Journal: Why would I be at the Cloverdale Rodeo?

I guess I thought it would be a great place to watch the rapture, because cows and religion go hand in hand as personal interests, but when that didn’t pan out I had to find something else to do.

May 16, 2011

Journal: The Best Deskcision of My Life

I have decided to convert to a standing desk, for several reasons. First, because I am so much better than you at everything—including standing.

March 23, 2011

Photos: Green Timbers

Just some pictures from a walk in the woods.

January 13, 2011

Comedy: The Signs, They Are a-Changin’

On the day I was born I remember very clearly the first words spoken to me: “Son, you are a Scorpio. Don’t let it go to your head.”


September 28, 2010

Artwork: Dinner and Music

It’s a bit romantic. Like death.

June 7, 2010

Comedy: On Aggregators

An aggregator is a website that lets you bypass the free and diverse dream of the Internet to be more efficiently fed only the content your peers have selected for you in advance.

April 7, 2010


I had been under the impression that if they pulled a tooth, they would put in a new tooth. I guess you’re supposed to ask. It all happened so quickly, and I wasn’t briefed in advance. I just had a toothache is all.

January 19, 2010

Comedy: Advice Column

Originally written for a now-defunct feminist zine called Buttercup, where I was tasked with providing a male perspective under the title: The Scrote of Wisdom.


March 12, 2007

Comedy: Dear Girl

Once you see me soaring through the air like a gazelle, there’s no way you’ll be able to resist my awkward advances.

March 4, 2007

Journal: This Sandwich is Delicious!

I know a thing or two about the topic, and this is one crazy badass sandwich. I’ve never enjoyed such a rich and varied flood of overwhelming, yet harmonious flavors. Not in a sandwich, and not in anything else. The first thing I did when I began to chew that first bite was call my cat into the room, because I wanted another soul to bear witness to this.

February 28, 2007

Music: Dawning

I song I put together as a panic attack cure. I think it works!


March 15, 2006

Journal: Tales From the Sev

I think the people at the 7-Eleven hit the “Large Slurpee” button on the register as soon as I walk in the door. I get to the counter and they just smile and take my money. There’s no typing or beeping. They know what I’m there for.

March 3, 2006

Comedy: Photoshop Tutorial

Today we learn how to be a proper badass.

February 7, 2006

Comedy: Dating Tape

Hey pretty girl, did you go to college?


December 16, 2005

Photos: Oh, Miscellany

Some pictures from 2005.

August 13, 2005

Comedy: Two Short Videos

Just a couple of dumb flash animations.

July 29, 2005

Photos: Mayne Island

I used to go here a lot as a kid. And then I went here once as an adult.

July 29, 2005

Photos: Late Night Walk

Pictures from a walk in the city after the world went to sleep.

July 23, 2005

Journal: Dear Kitty

It’s been so long since we’ve really talked.

July 13, 2005

Artwork: Arty Farty

Let’s never speak of this again.

February 10, 2005

Story: Last Night

There’s a little bridge over a little brook surrounded by trees, next to my dad’s apartment. The smallest possible but most convincing piece of nature, at the center of a grove of brutalist concrete buildings.


December 19, 2004

Photos: No Time for 21

I just can’t even, but here are some pictures.

December 10, 2004

Story: I Froze Up

In which our hero doesn’t meet a girl.

November 8, 2004

Story: The Bloated Curmudgeon

One night I decided to sit in the rain and wait for death, but the fat bastard wouldn’t let me.

September 28, 2004

Story: On Dating and Sexually Emasculating Bears

The bus was a sea of grey and expressionless faces, contrasted by yellow safety rails, garish advertisements, and a dozen songs playing at once. An overstimulating mess of nothing, like a casino or a carnival, but on the bus not one person present wants the noise.

September 18, 2004

Story: Brandi

Brandi. Spelled like that, I’m pretty sure. I remember talking to her on MySpace. She was into the same bands as me, and she was skinny, and she thought I was smart. That was my type when I was 20.

April 23, 2004

Story: Crazy Eddie

In which our hero robs a convenience store.

February 15, 2004

Journal: Nearly Certain Death

This update may never have been written if not for the brave actions of an unknown tree surgeon.


March 2, 1996

Story: My Introduction to Boobies

The first time I saw a boob in person I was twelve. The girl was fourteen or fifteen, and her boobs were probably bigger than my head. I had been trying to get her to take her shirt off for months, and one day I came up with the plan that got the job done.


June 19, 1994

Story: The Game Master

This was a pretty typical, hot afternoon in the summer. The only reason it sticks in my memory is because it’s the day I met The Game Master.


June 24, 1993

Story: Thank Heaven for Pastor Joe

Say what you will about a man of the cloth with his hand in a little boy’s pants, but in this instance it seems to have worked out for the better.


May 7, 1992

Story: Tiger Power Pistol

My dad got me a sickass water pistol. It’s one of my earlier and most vivid memories to this day, because I was so impressed with the thing I lost my goddamn mind. This wasn’t some chump’s plastic squirt gun, but a powerful, motorized weapon…


October 31, 1983

Story: Halloween Baby

I don’t have a memory of being born, which is probably not surprising. What’s surprising is that I THINK I do remember it, even if I know that has to be wrong.